Over the weekend, I spent some time catching up with an old friend in Mobile, AL and we decided that we would drive out to New Orleans to see the fish at the Aquarium and to Biloxi for some crab legs and gambling.

Here are the lessons learned from my short trip. They are in no particular order:

• No one in Mobile should ever starve. They have a lot of places to eat at compared to Pensacola, FL. I think they have as many food places (or more) as Pensacola has churches.

• My TomTom GPS will freak out when driving through the underwater tunnel in Mobile.

• The “Tuesday Morning” stores in Mobile seem to be better stocked than the ones in Pensacola.

• A Super Target is huge. They have 32 cash registers and a complete grocery store inside. It’s like a normal Target store ate a Winn-Dixie.

• Super Targets have store sections that are not red! They also have blue ones and green ones.

• The best Chinese food places look like dives, but their food is totally awesome.

• A machine that washes dogs and cats automatically does exists. It is in Mobile’s B&B Pet Shop

• If you’re not a fish, it very easy to find Nemo.

• Part of New Orleans smell like an unflushed urinal.

• Bourbon Street during the day smells like an unflushed urinal or a really nasty wet sock.

• There are clothes that you can only get away with wearing in public if you are in New Orleans. For example a shirt showing your fetish for bondage.

• Some bronze statues are actually painted street performers

• Some silver statues are actually painted street performers.

• It is not a good idea to wear jeans if you plan to walk all day around NOLA in the sun.

• Alcohol is available everywhere in NOLA.

• The Bubba Gump restaurant has music that will drive you insane.

• There is a full service bar inside the malls in New Orleans. Yes, they have Bushwhackers there.

• It’s a lot more fun to tour the Audobon Aquarium backwards!

• Jellyfish swim look like umbrellas opening and closing. They can also glow!

• Not all penguins are cute. Some are rather homely.

• All sea otters are cute and fun to watch

• Stingrays feel slimy to the touch.

• Hand sanitizer is available for your convenience.

• I am more afraid of sharks than albino alligators.

• I can be easily hypnotized by watching a gigantic aquarium full of sharks.

• You may think you are staring at the fish, but they are also staring at you.

• In Biloxi, signing up for the $10 power play points at a casino does not mean you will get the other free $10 points they advertised that you would get if you bought a buffet. You have to wait until the next day before you can do that.

• You can get a New York strip steak added to your buffet for only $3.99. But you shouldn't expect much from it.

• You can get crabs at the buffet in Biloxi casinos. The delicious kind. Not the itchy kind.